Non-binary people face difficulties in exploring their own bodies
Patterns in our heads often get in the way of having fun. This applies to both heterosexual people and queers. We talked about the difference between orientation and gender. Non-binary people experience especially many difficulties, because they get out of the artificial framework as much as possible.
The theme of physicality for them is often associated with the search for comfort and connection with their body. We decided to talk about this with Alyona Bondarchuk, a sex educator and owner of the adult store Reve i Stogne.
Exploring your own body without labels and pressure
June is a pride month designed to celebrate the pride and visibility of LGBT people around the world. In this context, it is very important to talk about physicality, gender, and comfort in one’s own body. However, there are still a lot of stereotypes that prevent you from fully exploring yourself and your pleasure. This is especially true for non-binary people who cannot rely on existing patterns in society (often harmful ones).
People are looking for solutions that help them better understand their own feelings, needs, and boundaries. And that’s why they come to adult stores.
How are the demands of sex shop customers regarding physicality and gender inclusivity changing?
According to the expert, requests are becoming more personalized. People are less likely to look for a “toy for a woman” or a “toy for a man.” They focus on what will be convenient for them.
There is a growing interest in universal devices, safe materials, and solutions that take into account different experiences, anatomies, and gender identities. The main trend is fewer labels, more attention to one’s own feelings,
” said Alyona Bondarchuk.
Why is it important for non-binary people that there is no strict separation of intimate goods
For many non-binary people, the rigid division into “male” and “female” can cause discomfort and a sense of alienation from their own body. A person comes for experience and pleasure, not for a “gender” product.
It is much easier to explore your sexuality without the pressure of expectations and stereotypes. That’s why it’s so important to describe intimate products through their functions, sensations, and usage patterns, rather than gender labels.
A safe space for queer and non-binary people does not begin with the assortment, but with the attitude towards them. The client feels much more comfortable when the consultant offers services without assumptions about a person’s gender or preferences. In other words, we should talk about the functionality of goods, needs and feelings, and not about “who” they are supposedly intended for.
People often come not just to “buy something”, but to sort out their own feelings. They want to understand what gives them pleasure and comfort and what does not.
How can non-binary people explore their own physicality
It is important to do this without the pressure of public expectations. Exploring your own self does not have a “right scenario.” For nonโbinary people, it is especially important to allow yourself to focus on your own feelings; to find out what brings comfort, what causes tension, and what causes curiosity.
You need to move at your own pace, without comparisons and without the idea that you need to meet any standard. The body doesn’t have to look or feel a certain way to be “right.” It’s just yours, and you have the right to get to know it the way it’s safe for you.
It is very important to move away from the idea that there is some kind of “right” way to experience pleasure depending on gender. Physicality is more diverse than “male” and “female” reactions. By the way, we talked about how the “male scenario” spoils sex for women.